Ever come home after a long, stressful day and felt even more stressed once you stepped inside? Or if you’ve been at home all day with the kids and the mess and the noise has you wanting to pull your hair out? Our homes can be a welcoming, safe space, or they can add to the chaos.
Over the years, I’ve been learning and experimenting with what it looks like to create a nervous system–friendly home. I’ve shared pieces of this before, but I wanted to pull it all together in one place. These are the things that have worked for me and that I’ve dialed in over time. Many of them are free, most are simple, and all are easy enough.
The home is like a partner with our nervous system. Our environment is either reinforcing safety signals or subtle danger signals all day long. And for many of us, especially moms, the home is where the majority of our nervous system triggers live. One 2009 study even found a direct link to clutter and stress levels in women.
My goal when I walk into my home is to feel like my nervous system is getting a comforting hug. It’s that feeling when your body relaxes and the tension starts to slip away, even without you noticing.
How Our Homes Talk to the Nervous System
Our nervous system is constantly scanning. It’s noticing light cues, sounds, visual clutter, smells, temperature, predictability, and social cues. These signals happen hundreds or thousands of times per day.
When those cues lean toward “unsafe,” our baseline tends to stay in sympathetic mode, or fight-or-flight. When they lean toward “safe,” the body can relax into parasympathetic mode, where digestion, repair, connection, and sleep happen more easily.
I talk a lot about healthy foods and supplements, but these can’t work well when our nervous system is under constant stress. In this article, I’m walking through what’s made the biggest difference for me. See what resonates with you and what you’d like to add (or take away) from your space.
Light: The Biggest Nervous System Lever in the Home
You’ve probably heard me talk about light a lot, and that’s because I really believe it’s one of the biggest cues we can send to the body. Light is a massive safety or danger signal, and in many cases, the right kinds of light are free or inexpensive. For me, light is at least as important as diet and supplements. And ideally, it’s a both-and situation.
Getting natural sunlight first thing in the morning, preferably within an hour of sunrise, is a huge needle mover. Some easy ways I do this include stepping outside as soon as I wake up, often barefoot, and usually in my pajamas. I open the blinds fully during the daytime, and I’ll even open the windows (yes, even when it’s cold out!).
Morning Sunlight
When that morning sunlight hits our eyes, it starts a hormonal cascade that helps bring everything into alignment. You’ll want to make sure the light isn’t being filtered through a window or glasses. Be sure not look directly at the sun though! I even know some people who wear blue-blocking glasses until they get outdoors, so sunrise light is the first thing that hits their eyes.
I like to stack this with other habits. If it’s not too cold, I’ll get my feet on the ground, do some grounding, and hydrate with mineral water while I’m outside. I keep a quart of salt water and/or minerals on my nightstand that’s easy to grab.
During the day, we actually want bright light. Blue light itself isn’t harmful, but it’s all about the timing. During the brightest parts of the day, blue light signals alertness and metabolism, something we want. I also like to get little “light snacks” by going outside in bright light for about 10 minutes in the afternoon.
Inside the house, I use full-spectrum, non-flicker daylight bulbs during the day.
Evening Light Cues
Evening light is where I’m the most intentional. In a perfect world, we’re aware of our light environment after sunset. Bright light at night signals daytime to the body and can cause stress in our nervous system.
Whenever possible, I try to eat earlier and give myself at least three hours before bed with no food and lower light. I switch to warmer, lower light bulbs that mimic the feel of sunset and campfire light. I use lamps instead of overhead lighting and keep light at eye level or below. Our ancestors had lower and warmer light sources from candles and fires.
After sunset, I avoid bright LEDs and anything that signals daylight, including screens. When I do need screens, I use red filters or my Daylight computer that doesn’t have backlighting for writing or creative projects.
In my bedroom, I pull down the blackout shades after sunset, block outdoor artificial light, and turn on red-spectrum low-light bulbs. I’ll read or draw and try not to be on screens. For me, light structure and nervous system structure are directly related.
Peace and Quiet
Sound is another big trigger that people don’t always think to audit. Household noise can impact cortisol and the startle response, even when we think we’ve tuned it out. Things like a loud TV always being on, constant notifications, HVAC hums, appliances, or echoey rooms can all be stressors.
There are often simple shifts here. Adding textures can dampen sound. Lowering or turning off the TV helps. White noise can be calming. In my bedroom, I use a Jaspr air filter that also provides a really beautiful white noise sound.
Notifications are another big one. My phone is almost always on silent or airplane mode. I don’t like vibration or sound, and I check it only when I want to, instead of reacting to alerts. And at night, my phone goes in the charging drawer in the kitchen.
Temperature and Nervous System Safety
Temperature is another often-forgotten stressor. Extreme temperatures are obviously stressful, but never having variation can also be confusing to the body. Interestingly, overheated homes are linked to increased irritability and stress hormones. Cooler temperatures, especially during sleep, support vagal tone.
During the day, I aim for a comfortable indoor range, but not overly warm. At night, I keep my bedroom much cooler, often in the 60s. Instead of heating the whole house, I prefer to pile on the warm blankets and use my Chilipad to cool the mattress. Some of my best sleep happens with windows open and cozy blankets, even when it’s cooler outside.
And while we’re on the topic of temperature, using a sauna can help our bodies be more resilient to stressors. Sauna is known as a hormetic stressor, or the good kind of stress, that helps our body better self-regulate.
Visual Load, Clutter, and Mental Stress
This is a big one, especially for women. Visual clutter is a drain on our nervous system and it increases stress levels. Every item we own is a micro-decision. I’ve heard the phrase, “Everything you own owns a little part of you,” and that really resonates.
Research shows that women are often more affected by visual load than men. Clutter often signals unfinished tasks, which can add (you guessed it!) more stress. Over time, I’ve focused more on simplifying and subtracting than organizing. Clearing surfaces, creating neutral spaces, and hiding visual noise with storage can help.
For me, decluttering hotspots like the entryway, kitchen counters, and the chair in my room has made a noticeable difference. Calm is not just an aesthetic, but a purposeful design strategy.
Bring the Outside In
When I imagine a calm space, being outside in nature is part of the picture. We’re wired for the safety cues that nature offers. There’s compelling data that spending time in nature benefits the nervous system and psyche, even over short periods.
In the same way, bringing nature into the home can act as a safety signal. Natural materials like wood, stone, clay, and natural fibers feel grounding. My home has lots of natural light, and I have more than a few plants in my bedroom. I’m incorporating more natural fabrics into my wardrobe and I love these linen bedsheets.
I feel more peaceful when my home reflects nature, even in small ways.
Minerals are another way I bring nature into the home. I have mineralized water stations, sea salt in the kitchen, and bath setups with Epsom salt, sea salt, and essential oils. I keep a hydration corner in my kitchen with liquid minerals the kids and I add to drinks.
Grounding is another component. I love being barefoot outside, but indoors I also use natural fiber rugs and blankets. I like sitting on the floor, not just chairs. Outdoor spaces like patios and hanging chairs help blur the line between indoor and outdoor.
Cozy Corners and Spaces
Emotional safety is foundational for our overall health. If our body is on edge and in fight or flight mode, it’s much harder for healing to happen. I’ve found that cozy, calming spaces in the home can be very regulating.
When my kids were younger, indoor yoga swings and hanging chairs were incredibly calming for their nervous systems. Movement is regulating for adults too. Most of our swings live outside now that we live in a pretty warm climate.
Create calm nooks with warm blankets and inviting books. Try weighted blankets, and having designated quiet spaces to support regulation. Rituals and routines matter too. Morning routines and bedtime routines signal predictability and safety, especially for kids who thrive on some kind of structure.
For me, evening rituals like sipping Cacao Calm or listening to calming music help signal that it’s time to slow down.
The Bedroom as a Nervous System Repair Station
If I had to prioritize one room, it would be the bedroom. Sleep is when repair happens, so the bedroom should support that as much as possible.
In my bedroom, I prioritize complete darkness with blackout curtains and no LEDs. I keep the room cool, use white noise, and minimize clutter. I don’t have a TV or screens in the room, and I try not to bring my phone or computer in. I don’t even have a dresser in my room as all of my clothes live in the closet, out of sight!
I use linen bedding, a natural mattress, and keep mineralized water on my nightstand. The lighting is low and warm in the evening and I can instantly feel my body relax. It’s not so much about adding to the space, but taking away from it. Removing devices, blue lights, cables, clutter, and work reminders. My bedroom is for sleep and calm.
The Kitchen as a Nourishment Space
The kitchen can also be a nervous system regulation area. Hydration zones, visible minerals, and simplified tools make nourishment easier and less stressful. Keeping surfaces uncluttered and organizing for ease reduces overwhelm. I’ll also make sure that simple, healthy foods are visible so my kids can easily grab something. The goal is to make the kitchen feel like a place of nourishment, not stress.
The Snowball Effect
What I love about this is that a nervous system–friendly home doesn’t have to be expensive. Many of the most impactful changes are free. Opening blinds and windows, turning off overhead lights at night, decluttering, reducing noise, cooling the bedroom, and adding natural elements can all shift the nervous system.
This is about signals, not aesthetics. It’s not about having a fancy home, high-end furniture, or extreme minimalism where everything is white. It’s about turning your home into a nervous system ally. These small changes can have a compounding effect over time that can add up to big results.
Final Thoughts On A Nervous System Supportive Home
Our homes are constantly sending signals to our nervous system, whether we realize it or not. When those signals support safety, regulation becomes easier and these small changes compound over time.
It’s not about having the perfect home, but learning to embrace more calm in an intentional way. These small shifts can help your home work for you and your family’s health.
What are some ways you’ve created more calm in your home (or would like to)? Leave a comment and let us know!
Source link
